Pain Pills, Birth Control, or Surgery....... Oh My!

I have endometriosis. According to my (former) infertility specialist one of the worst cases he has ever seen. Is has almost completely destroyed my reproductive system. In fact, my chances of conceiving on my own without extremely expensive procedures are less than 5%. Of course miracles can happen! Anywho, I've spent the last 2 months in a vicodin haze. I am on birth control to control the endometriosis but it isn't working. So now it's time to make a choice, live on pain pills, stronger birth control, or surgery to once again (#3) clean out all the scar tissue. You'll be happy to know I have downgraded my pain killers so I can function. On Saturday I accidentally took 2 vicodin instead of the recommended 1 and let Tyler paint my face. Let me tell you I was pretty! This week I am taking a break from decision making and am going to concentrate on celebrating my sweet boy's 5th year of life. On Saturday we are having a HUGE birthday carnival in our backyard. It is a welcome distraction. Hopefully I will only take the recommended pain pill dose and not make a fool of myself. Wish me luck!

Praying for Stellan

I read this wonderful blog by the most honest mother ever!!!!! Her name is MckMama and she has four children under the age of 5. Her youngest son, Stellan, is turning 1 today and is in the PICU. He has a heart condition that started in the womb. Please include him in your prayers today. If you want to read to whole story click on the Praying for Stellan button on the left. Thank you!!!! *****Warning, her blog is addicting********

Decisions, Decisions

Big changes are ahead for our household. I can feel it. No I'm not pregnant. I can't go into too much detail because I'm not exactly sure who reads this. Big decisions to be made. I am trying to stay positive and "go with my gut." However, I have always been Miss Safe and Cautious. Please pray for us as we decide on these major issues.

The Cake (dessert and a lesson)

Once upon a time there was a mom with a food allergic child. She had a brilliant idea to take up cake decorating and "wow" everyone with her exceptional cakes. Everyone would want her to make these cakes (that were not only beautiful but also dairy free) for their children's birthdays. Then when her precious T attended these birthday parties he could eat the same cake as his friends and not feel left out. Good plan, right?!?

I recently became obsessed with cake decorating shows. While spending hours on the couch recovering from surgery and an allergic reaction to bandaids (long painful story) I watched lots and lots of cake shows. They make it look soooo easy. So when my mom asked me what I was planning to bring to my sister's graduation party I offered to bring the cake. She asked me if I was serious. Sure I was, how hard could it be?

I spread the process out over 4 days because I have a tendency to get overwhelmed. Wednesday I made the fondant. Thursday I bought the cake mix, icing, and other cake making necessities. Friday I made the cakes (double chocolate fudge w/ whipped chocolate filling). Everything was coming along great. Saturday was left for decorating. I told everyone who would listen about this wonderful cake in the making. I had a vision of the completed product. A two tiered cake, covered in white fondant and decorated with yellow fondant stars with a black and yellow (Lindenwood University colors) piped icing trim. Simple.

Saturday I rolled out the fondant and covered both tiers, easy. I put straws in the bottom tier and carefully put the top tier in place, easy easy! I started piping the yellow and black trim around the bottom of the top tier. Did you know when black and yellow icing mixes it looks like baby diarrhea? And then it started dripping down the bottom tier. I tried to color the baby poop icing yellow, then black, nothing. Then panic set in. Roy came to look and offered a few suggestions. I cried. He said to make the bottom tier black. I hate black icing. To make a long story shorter I ended up with a beautiful blue color instead of black. So I used it to cover the bottom layer and from there came all new ideas. Roy told me the end product was probably better than my original plan.

When I was young I envisioned my future as having a wonderful loving husband and 3 or 4 children. Finding the perfect man , I thought, would be difficult. Having the children would be fun and easy. Falling in love with Roy was easy (almost too easy), kind of like the first 3 days of cake making. The part with the kids has been challenging and not what I expected, kind of like the cake decorating. Hopefully my life will be exactly like this cake process, not what I expected or planned for but better then I could have ever imagined.

I will post a picture as soon as I get a chance to upload my pictures. When my sister cut into it at her party I wanted to slap her. All that hard work and she just cut into it. How dare she?

Mr Crab Goes to the New Kids on the Block Concert

Whenever Tyler is having a bad day he tells us "Mr Crab is here." On Wednesday there is no doubt in my mind that Mr Crab tagged along with me to the New Kids concert. I don't know what my problem was. I could not get excited about the concert for the life of me. However the evening took an incredible turn..........


I went to the concert with my sister Melissa and two cousins Nikki and Stevie. We got there @ 5:45 (2 hours early). We were waiting in line when we noticed a group of people selling upgraded tickets for $10 (they worked there it was legal ;)) We purchased lawn tickets originally because we are all poor. So we decided to upgrade our seats to row ee. When we found our seats there was a security woman lingering. She started talking to my cousin Nikki. There is speculation that she was hitting on her, but whatever. She asked her if she was a New Kids fan (she was wearing a New Kids shirt, do non fans do this?) Then she told us something that made us all scream and giggle like 10 year olds. During the 6th song of the concert there would be a stage set up 5 rows in front of us and 1 of the New Kids would be right in front of us. What???????? So we waited and waited. Then 5 minutes before they were going to come on stage we noticed the row 3 rows in front of us was empty. So we quickly gathered our things and ran to the 2nd row. So now we would be 1 row from a New Kid. Sure enough there was a stage set up and here they came. Joey McIntyre ran right by us followed by Jordan Knight (who is gorgeous by the way). Then Jon Knight jumped right up on our stage and leaned over to us. Here is the funny part. My sister is beautiful and skinny, so who's hand does he grab first. That's right. I don't know if it was a fit of jealousy or what but my hand swung over to there's and I scratched his arm. Thankfully I just took off my acrylic nails and my fingernails are very weak. He quickly grabbed my hand with a light squeeze and moved on to the next crazy fan. So there you go I waited 20 years to assault a New Kid. Here is a pic from our exciting moment..............



Here is my cousin Nikki helping me get out of the parking lot without letting any cars in. I think Mr Crab went home with the people in the car in front of us because they gave her the finger.

Don't Whine Because You're 30.

To celebrate my 30th we rented a van, gathered our closest friends and family and headed to Augusta to hit the wineries. It was a day of food, wine (duh), funny moments, very interesting conversation, and a little vomit (sorry Angie noone remembers really!) Here are a few fun moments from the day!

Blessings All Around Me

The last month has been tough for us. At the beginning of May we received some devastating news regarding my reproductive health. I've realized lately that I am way stronger than I ever thought. After I woke from my surgery and Roy broke the news, I spent two days boo hooing and feeling sorry for myself. Then a strange thing happened. I felt a calm come over me and a feeling that everything was going to be OK. Also I started realizing God's presence all around me. Songs coming on the radio at just the appropriate time, Tyler all of the sudden not asking for a sibling, little things that gave my peace and a stronger belief that everything truly would be OK. Everything else seemed to be getting better. We accepted the diagnosis, started looking at our options, even went on a budget to plan for expensive procedures. Then this week we got more bad news. A follow up ultrasound revealed the need for another surgery and a risk of losing more of our options. Unfortunately I have to wait until next week to talk to the doctor and get all the information. So I went into another bout of boo hooing and feeling sorry for myself, only to be brought out of my funk by a customer. A sweet lady that is always cheerful and chatty. She was diagnosed with lung cancer in November and has maintained her positive attitude through the whole process. She visited me on Wednesday. During our chat she told me she was finding out next week if her cancer was terminal or not. She has to wait a week to find out if she is going to die. How ironic that a woman would come in with a week of waiting and a positive attitude. If anything this whole experience has strengthened my religious beliefs and made me thankful for everything good in my life. I am truly blessed.


****Update***** Looks like surgery is going to happen. My tangerine size cyst is definitely making a comeback. Please keep us in your prayers. Also if you could squeeze in a prayer for me to lose 5lbs in the next week so I look FABULOUS in my birthday party dress it would be greatly appreciated. 30 here I come! Yikes!